Mishits

James Milner versus Boring James Milner

ESPN staff

June 3, 2014

'I told Baines I liked his boots. He said thanks. I said, did you buy them in a sports shop? He nodded...' © PA Photos

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In Twitter's alternate universe, Roger Federer is king of the #humble-brag, Geoff Boycott and Fred Trueman are the same person and Sam Allardyce's head is a very dark place to be.
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James Milner, boring footballer. The Manchester City midfielder was able to laugh off the claim as he prepared for England's final warm-up games ahead of the World Cup in Miami, but admitted that he has tried to track down the perpetrator behind the parody Twitter account bearing his name.

Boring James Milner is so boring it hurts. Boring enough, in fact, to collect a quarter of a million followers on Twitter, all tuning in for reports on the latest non-conversations with his City and England team-mates and updates on the cleanliness of his house.

But can you tell the two apart? Below are a series of quotes from James Milner - most from Monday's press England conference - and tweets from Boring James Milner. Scroll to the bottom to see if you can spot the difference.

a. Roy rang me to say I'm in the England Squad. I said Me? He said Yes. I said In the Squad? He said Yes. I said For the World Cup? He said Yes
b. Football injuries happen unfortunately and if it happens it happens
c. We'd like to have games that are a bit more boring if we can. Maybe a 1-0 or 2-0
d. When I stepped off the plane in Miami I thought it was really warm and I was right because when I checked the temperature it was 27°C
e. There were a few tweets about Asda so I was asking the masseurs where they shopped. One did say Asda so I thought I was close but it turned out it wasn't him
f. I keep having to remind myself that it is Friday today because it feels like it's a Saturday
g. All three games are equally as important and we need to concentrate on all of them the same
h. The manager picks the best team he thinks will win the game